At Heart Centered Service, we believe in the importance of acting from a place of priority as opposed to what society expects your priority to be. And we totally vibe with mindset coach Melanie St. Clair, who believes our greatest gift and responsibility is to heal ourselves.
In this episode, we talked with Melanie all about how perfectionism is the high achievers’ form of procrastination, a sign of co-dependency, and what you really need to heal to solve the root problem and not just manage the symptoms.
Listen to Episode 030, Perfectionism + Your Inner Critic with Melanie St. Clair of the Modern Day Mystic
On Healing Perfectionism
- Perfectionism is the high-achiever’s form of procrastination.
- Ultimately it comes down to putting your inner value or worth as the final product versus putting your worth as a natural birthright. Then we get caught up in a perfectionist trap.
- The difference between being a perfectionist and valuing the quality of your worth: it’s good to be proud of the work that you’re putting into the world. But it can come down to intention. Are you in a perfectionist space that’s holding you back, or are you in a high-quality space that’s propelling you forward?
- Codependency is a heavy reliance on something that’s external.
- Inner child work: the way you were raised taught you how it was safe to be loved – how you process feelings of rejection. Inner child learnt that it wasn’t safe to be your fullest self. A lot of time our surroundings project their own pain, their own beliefs (it’s safer to not ask what you need; not have boundaries; to stay small). Inner healing is the way to reparent ourselves.
- In business, the four pillars of codependency you can see in people are people-pleasing, perfectionism, workaholic + hero syndrome… these all stem from the belief you need to do these things to feel safe, feel worthy and feel powerful.
- If you’re letting codependent patterns and inner child wounds hold you back, you’re not doing what you could do in the world.
- Get curious about your thought patterns and what you learnt that. What type of dynamics were happening that may have contributed to you believing the way something worked? This helps you release the judgment and become solution-oriented.
On Living with the Inner Critic
- Inner critic – ego – control.
- Ego is good because helps judgment. Tries to keep us safe, but sometimes it takes
- Hypercritical adult – maybe they would judge you less.
- Less about silencing the inner critic, more about softening the ego. Allowing the ego to serve you where it’s helpful, but not letting your ego run the show.
- Get curious about what the narrative is, but choosing not to act on it.
- Give your inner critic a space to say… but you don’t need to act on it.
- Everything we do is an expression of love, or ask for love. Interact with your ego with this understanding.
- Start building the evidence of the contrary… so my fear isn’t necessarily true So it is actually safe
Show Notes and References
About Melanie St. Clair
Melanie St. Clair is a mindset coach who believes our greatest gift and responsibility is to heal ourselves. Her mission is to help you heal so that your inner child doesn’t run your business and your most powerful CEO self does. She’s helped her clients hit their biggest income months without letting people pleasing, perfectionism, and an overly complicated relationship with money stop them. When she’s not helping her rockstar clients, you can find her traveling the world (or to the grocery store) with her husband Jeramia, sipping matcha lattes, or hopelessly trying to get her cats to take selfies with her.
Website URL www.themoderndaymystic.co
Social media handles Instagram @themoderndaymystic.co
Promo opt-in (lead magnet) www.themoderndaymystic.co/guide